“But honestly Monica, the web is considered "public domain" and you should be happy we just didn't "lift" your whole article and put someone else's name on it!” Just be grateful, bitch!
“…you as a professional should know that the article we used written by you was in very bad need of editing, and is much better now than was originally. Now it will work well for your portfolio. … We put some time into rewrites, you should compensate me!” Do you have any idea how hard that was, how long it took me?! Yes, she rewrote mediaeval English because she didn’t even know that’s what she was reading! Let’s hope she never goes anywhere near Chaucer (though it’s doubtful she’s even heard of him).
“Its sad really.” She knows nothing about apostrophes, as can be seen from the title of her wonderful magazine, “Cooks Source”.
“I was stupid to even answer her that night, her email to me was antagonistic and just plain rude and I was exhausted. But I got suckered in and responded.” Oh, it’s all her fault, yes it is! She upset me, and made me write silly things.
“…I didnt answer that late, was in bed as I was traveling again the next day (left at 7AM the next morning) to Connecticut, …” Another missing apostrophe, and if you’re referring to the time then “AM” is actually written “am” (“ante meridiem” = “before noon”), otherwise it’s Amplitude Modulation or Anno Mundi. Surely you, having been an editor at The Voice, Housitonic Home and Connecticut Woman Magazine, are aware of that? Heavens woman, where have you been?
“My advertisers too, have been so harassed that it has all muddies up the waters as to what the real situation is.” Ah, such exquisite erudition. I foresee a wonderful future for you in the world of self-publishing (oh, wait).
“If my apology to Monica seemed shallow it was because I was angry about the harm she has inflicted on others on behalf of her own agenda.” Yes, I am angry. I did all that editing, and for what?
“I never ment to hurt anyone, and I think I did a nice job for you, but the fact remains that I took this without asking you and that was so very wrong. Please find it in you heart to forgive me.” I don’t even have a basic spell-checker either, otherwise I would have spotted that “ment”, though it wouldn’t have spotted the “you” in place of “your”. And I still did all that work for you! You know, tidying up the bad spelling they used in the 14’th and 16’th centuries.
“Bleary-eyed I didnt notice it was copy written and reordered some of it.” See, I reordered it for you! You’re the one who owes me the favour!
“Thank you to all our readers, thanks to all our advertisers and writers… and to everyone who has been supportive and who has been a part of Cooks Source. To one writer in particular, Monica Gaudio, I wish you had given me a chance.” It’s all your fault! Yes it is. I helped you… little you, and this is how you repay me? I wish I’d never wasted my time!